Friday, November 13, 2009

Ice, Ice, Baby

I have discovered how awesome I am.
I am, in fact, awesome enough to have moldy ice in my fridge. (Yes, I abbreviate. Not because I think it makes me look cool, mainly just because I can't spell. Yes, my mother always told (and tells) me to sound things out. It does not help.)

Moldy ice.
Let's think about that, shall we?
Ice is water. H2O. There is no carbon involved, which is the main substance living organisms. You know, all the aliens say "stupid carbon-based organisms." Because we are. Carbon based and probably stupid, too.

Why have I never heard of moldy ice before? I'm going to go with: because it has never existed up until it found its niche in my freezer.
That's right, I'm awesome enough that new organisms (or at least mutations) take form in my general vicinity. A whole new kind of life, as far as I know, in that it doesn't involve carbon. Unless there's some extra carbon floating around in my freezer that was like "hey, ice" (carbon does not talk. that would be silly) and was all "hey, baby, how about we go back to your place and try to stream up the walls a little?" Come to think of it, that might be why the freezer compartment was dripping so much. Hot and steamy carbon-ice going ons.

And before anyone comments, no, I did not have anything else in my freezer besides the icecube tray which is made of plastic (pink, unfortunately enough, sorry mr. carnivor if you ever read this). And while some rubber is made from rubber trees, I'm pretty sure this thing is completely artificial and shouldn't have carbon in it to precipitate (I don't know if that's the right word and I'm pretty sure it's not, but spell check says it exists and I'm too lazy to google it. I love how google is a verb now) a life form.

Sorry if all these asides are distracting from the main argument. Let me recap for you:
I am awesome. So awesome that I have made life. A new species, in fact. A new life form. And then I washed the ice tray multiple times and washed it down the sink.

So if you suddenly have mold creeping out at you from the drains, it's probably my fault because this new lifeform thing doesn't have any natural predators seeing as how it was just created. Came into being. Whatever.

I'm sorry for the end of the world by mold. I'll work on thinking up something that will eat ice-mold. Ice-carbon children. Maybe ice is cannibalistic? Maybe if I had left it in there the ice would have devoured the offspring from the liaison? Maybe. Then again, my fridge kind of smelled. And I'm going to blame the mold. Because there's really not much in there. Well, there are like five water bottles. And I was going to say that water doesn't smell, but hey, if my ice can grow mold, what's to stop the water from growing mold, too, right? It's all H2O.

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