Thursday, January 27, 2011

Or not

I was going to write a post about the dream I had that I mentioned twice that made me wake up in the middle of the night and whisper "happy things happy thoughts happy thoughts happy things happy thoughts good happy nice happy" to myself under my breath, of course, so I wouldn't wake up my roommates.

However, it is past the time that I would like to be asleep, I have to be up at the normal time in the morning that only sounds early to people who sleep in every day, and I still have things I need to do before i go to bed. So.

Last night?
I dreamt (which is apparently not a word... who knew?) about an ugly tiger, being busy, having the latest ex call me to tell me something important to which i responded "yes, okay, I'm kind of in the middle of something..." which he interrupted with, sadly, "can't we just... talk?" Meaning he was sad. Not that it made me sad. That's when I saw the ugly tiger. It was in my neighbor's yard. Then somebody came over and I tried to take pictures of the ugly tiger on the camera on my phone. And then I was trying to show them to somebody. At some point, I hung up on the ex.

It's weird how much I dream about him. Like, I dream about people I actually know not very often and when I do it's in a super realistic you-could-be-awake-right-now sort of a dream. I've had a bunch of those about him, too, though. They confuse my feelings because sometimes I have a hard time differentiating between a dream and reality. Sad perhaps, but true. It makes me more careful when I talk to people, though, because if I can't remember exactly what they said in what exact situation, I have to allow the possibility that they never said it at all.
I've never dreamt this much about a boy before. It's weirding me out.
And then I wake up and tell myself "Does not matter." (I'm a little influenced by Nation, by Terry Pratchett, which you should probably go out and read right now.)

One day, I will stop caring whether or not I dream about you.

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